Confession #1

Generally, I do not like people. I do include myself in this generalization. I am not happy with this; I do WANT to love people. I, in fact, love individuals but the general public....no. I am a believer in the Holy Bible and in God's word, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31); which I guess I do since I find myself equally frustrating and annoying. But I digress, as this is not to be a confession about how much I want to get away from myself but how much people can get to me. Now, I am not one of those people that walks around with a scowl on there face, angry at everyone. I WANT to do good and I try to be considerate, polite, kind, helpful and giving. With that being said, I am in a, "I really dislike people!" kind of mood.

After a long day at a carnival/car show I made the bad decision to go to the grocer. While there, Pickle dropped our drink and it spilled all over the floor. I had nothing to clean it up with and I did not want to leave it so that no one would slip on it. So I rolled the cart, which both boys were sitting in, over the spill and looked around for some napkins or something to clean it up with along with a worker. Nothing or no worker to be found. I was about 20 feet from the deli and I saw that there were about 4 people waiting to be helped. Hmmm, no help there. I could not leave the kids to go walk to find a worker as they are only 2 and 4.

So I stood where the spill was and waited for the deli worker to be free. A few minutes go by and a few customers take off, presumably because they are sick of waiting. I walked up to the deli and left the kids in eyes view to see if I could quickly ask for some napkins. No luck, the customer was asking "can you now slice it a little thinner so I can see what it looks like". I did not want to interrupt. So I walked back to the kids. "How can I do the right thing here", I am asking myself. Still, no worker around. I wait a few more minutes. I go back to the deli and the lady is again asking to see another slice. I am getting frustrated. I start to ask for paper towels but the worker does not hear me as she is walking to slice the meat again. I was asking quietly as I was hesitant to interrupt. I walk back to the kids. Still no one. This is going on 10 minutes, I am guessing. I walk back to the deli as I cannot stand in line because I will be leaving the kids for far to long to do that and I did not want to lose my opportunity to ask the deli worker for help when this current customer is done. When I approach the deli, the customer is again asking the deli worker to again slice again, to see a thinner slice. I am annoyed fully at this point. So, after she finishes talking I ask the deli worker if I can quickly get some paper towels. She tells me there is a Starbucks down the way and there are napkins. I explain the situation and apologize to the customer. The deli worker gets paper towels and the customer looks at me snobbishly and says, "I don't care. Why don't you just take them with you to get napkins!". I explain that the cart is covering a huge soda spill and I don't want to leave my kids alone to get the napkins. The way she had spoken to me was so meanly that I did not respond in a nice voice, either. She continues to tell me she does not care about my kids or my situation. I say, "you don't care about the possibility of someone getting hurt or that if I leave my kids, they can get hurt?". She rudely, pompously tells me she does not care. It continued for a few more similar sentences but this is the gist of her rant.

This lady is in her late 40's or early 50's and getting this upset about something so small. Yes, I interrupted and if it was me and someone interrupted me at 1st I would be annoyed, yes. But after hearing the situation I would completely understand. I was fuming and so pissed I was shaking and I could not focus on my shopping. Then I just got annoyed with myself for letting this complete stranger get to me so badly. I am too much of a people-pleaser. And considering my view of people, if I don't change how I deal with my people-pleasing behavior then I will end up in a loony bin! If you read this huge rant about something so small, thank you! And yes, I realize that I got so upset about something so small just like this lady did. I am no better.